Louis And Lestat's Greatest Hits

 picture of Christian
Book of Christian

I say "Greatest Hits" because I cut out a couple of time- and space-specific lines, as well as some that didn't age too well.

  • I am bored, Louis. Entertain me with a merry jest.
  • You suck, Lestat!

  • Is it not grand to be a vampire, Louis?
  • No Lestat. It's the pits!

  • This party seems a trifle dull, does it not, Louis?
  • You're right, Lestat. Let's cruise!

  • Look at that gluttonous swine! He's eating all the Cheez Whiz!
  • Tonight he dies.

  • As an actor, this is one of many facial expressions I use.
  • I find that this expression suits almost any occasion.

  • Hey! Who invited the werewolves?
  • This could get ugly...

  • Being blonde, French and a vampire, I find that seduction is a talent which comes naturally!
  • You are indeed gifted, Lestat. I myself am forced to make this accursed pouty face in an attempt for the "cute, shy and vulnerable" look.

  • his is intolerable, Louis! We've been here ten minutes and have yet to be approached by anyone!
  • Away with you, Lestat! Can you not see that I'm trying to make eye contact?

  • I thought you said this was a costume party!
  • Um...maybe that's next week.

  • ...and placing his hand on his heart thusly, the actor is now in the proper theatrical pose for a sentimental declaration of love.
  • Yeah, whatever, Mr. Losin' It. [was Risky Business. I changed my mind after seeing the movie. There's a plot summary of Losin' It at http://www.videoflicks.com/VF2/1012/1012754.ihtml that suits the purpose]

  • John "Look Who's Talking" Travolta gets an Oscar nomination and neither of us do? Outrageous!
  • All is not lost, Tom. My sources tell me that both you and I are clear contenders for Sassy's "Cutest Butt" award, to be determined by reader's poll. May the best man win!

  • Sorry, Brad. I talked to the director. You can't take your shirt off in this scene either.
  • Damn!

  • (-h2/2m) (d2Y(x)/dx2) + V(x)Y(x) = EY(x)
  • x' = g(x - bct) t' = g(t - bx/c)

  • I invented my current pickup line a century ago, Louis. Do you think it is time for a change?
  • Nonsense, Lestat! "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" remains as fresh and witty as ever!

  • I am the vampire Lestat. I combine the manner of an aesthete with the viciousness of a predator.
  • I am...that Louis guy. I am sensitive and cute as a button.

  • All I hear about lately is Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt. Whatever happened to me, Tom Cruise, the most desirable male actor in Hollywood?
  • Your powers are weak, old man.

  • Ah, Louis. Do you remember when I said "Look at that gluttonous swine! He's eating all the Cheez Whiz!" and you said "Tonight he dies."?
  • [Sigh] Those were the days!

    Added to Detnet May 20, 1998