Detnet contains the mind of Detling, the state of Minnie, the way of procrastination, the doom of the studious, and the happiness of the miscreant. Its pages are many, its precepts are misguided, its histories are fabricated, and its decisions are dubious. Read it to be amused, believe it to be twisted, and practice it to be juvenile.

It is the map for the blind, the staff for the able, the compass for the pigeon, the sword for the suicidal, and the charter for the illiterate. It will cleanse you of responsibility, will reward laxness and levity, and will condemn all who take seriously its inane contents.

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