LISTory: The Huff/Nee Files

  1. Prelude: Nee joins the fray
    (Nee-d we say more? by Aziz Poonawalla, Esq.)

  2. Introduction: A revisionist history of Detling?
    (TICK!!! IHOP!! plus a tribute to the days of Yore by Aziz Poonawalla, Esq.)

  3. The reminisces of Number 6
    (Re: tribute by

  4. Setting the record straight
    (Re: TICK!!! IHOP!! plus a tribute to the days of Yore by Gregory Richard Oppel)

  5. Yes, the truth is out there
    (Correction on paintball message. by Marcus Steffel)

  6. Tabloid verification
    (Fugitive Spotted! by Kimberly Stahl)

  7. A little too straight?
    (Mr. Oppel's allegations by Aziz Poonawalla, Esq.)

  8. New evidence is presented
    (Dean didn't do it! by Nemesis)

  9. The threads converge
    (My Life in Exile by karen l nee)

Date: Sun, 19 Feb 1995 14:03:06 -0600
Precedence: list
From: (Aziz Poonawalla, Esq.)
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: Nee-d we say more?
Mime-Version: 1.0
X-To: detling

Nee, Karen

        1. Chicago Alderwoman convicted of accepted bribes.  2. A mythical
creature of pure light and power in ancient Babylonian mythology.  3.
Ancient tome of lost secrets rumored to have been written by the High
Priest of Atalante (Atlantis).  4. Federal prosecutor in the cold fusion
hoax trials. 5. Detlingite (1973? - ) heavily involved in the creation of
traditions that still persist to this day. Some of her noted works are the
creation of the Detling Dirt (or the Eggplant, whatever you prefer), the
Detling House newsletter that truly was a work in progress. She also
compiled Detling Memories vol. I and II, and was a devoted Movie Nite
attendee. foosball master, and social commitee backbone. This was all done
in the face of horrible odds, terrible times, and evil creatures like David
Guinan and Gary Chimes. Due to her CIA involvement, she was forced to drop
out of the public spotlight in 1993 by faking her own death, though in 1995
she resurfaced. Current whereabouts are classified, tho' rumors persist as
to her association with Barnard Hall.  6. The original name for the
Business School prior to the Grainger family's $30 million donation to

welcome to the list, Karen!


              ^           "their debt shows to his embryo
             ` `               no fantastic copulation transforms slowly!
          _ `   ` _               his bitter predator's soul tastes,
        "  `     `  "      Aziz begs for his conclusion
      "               "        Would you pay 12 dollars for his
      "   ` .` `. `   "           organic dandelion?           - johnny mcpoet
        " `` _ _ `` "      ***************************************************
          `       `             Aziz H. Poonawalla
1110 Oakwood Drive                                      821 W. Johnson, #260A
Mount Prospect, IL 60056                                Madison, WI 53706-1798
(708) 593 2059                                          (608) 264 2356

Date: Wed, 22 Mar 1995 19:19:52 -0600
Precedence: list
From: (Aziz Poonawalla, Esq.)
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: TICK!!! IHOP!! plus a tribute to the days of Yore
Mime-Version: 1.0

Hey all!

On saturday mornings, we have established a new tradition. One that
requires Detlingites' (past and present) participation (or this'll be the
shortest tradition you ever heard of).

The deal:       9:30 am Saturdays Sellery TV Lounge
                we will watch The Tick! great tv show, absolutely hilarious.
                The we go to IHOP en masse and dine on the fine cuisine (sorry,
                        soup is unavailable until such time as when Hell freezes
                Then we are done.

Come on you guys! Social conversation skills need polishing? Ex-detlingite
owes ya money? Then come on down! Tax not included.

(Hey Dean, if you can make it that'd be neat, but we'll understand if you
can't show up, I guess)

(for all of you out there who have no clue what the above sentence is for,
Dean is one of the Detlingites from The Golden Ages of Detling, when mighty
beasts were slayed nightly over phone lines, when tanks rumbled to do
battle on a 386 from 4 in the afternoon to 4 in the morning, when we
actually had four Detling Dance and Lipsynch Contests, one each quarter,
when Star Trek was The Television Show Not to Be Missed by at least 25% of
the floor, when The Holy Pail was more than a myth, when foosball reigned
supreme in the Den, when StompBall caused more injuries than rugby, when a
petite, smiling, wise, friendly and kind woman named Laura kicked some
serious ass in the Den in the ancient tradition of San-Chin Ryu, when forks
could be rendered transparent with only a bit of saltwater and some local
current, when enough electrical equipment existed in rooms 282-283 to stand
your hair on end and cause brownouts as far away as Beaver Dam, when the
Sun blazed forth to illuminate the Sellery Courtyard and Ogg Hall with its
hallowed radiance, when no piece of fruit was safe from the ravages of
electricity, and when we actually had a Gorilla on the floor. Nice guy, a
bit gruff, but likable enough. Dean currently resides in Tennessee where he
spends his time avoiding his thesis, writing chat lines for his friends,
and polishing his WWW home page.)


              ^           "their debt shows to his embryo
             ` `               no fantastic copulation transforms slowly!
          _ `   ` _               his bitter predator's soul tastes,
        "  `     `  "      Aziz begs for his conclusion
      "               "        Would you pay 12 dollars for his
      "   ` .` `. `   "           organic dandelion?           - johnny mcpoet
        " `` _ _ `` "      ***************************************************
          `       `             Aziz H. Poonawalla
1110 Oakwood Drive                                      821 W. Johnson, #260A
Mount Prospect, IL 60056                                Madison, WI 53706-1798
(708) 593 2059                                          (608) 264 2356

Date: Wed, 22 Mar 1995 23:56:14 -0500
Precedence: list
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: Re: tribute

Detling -

 Thank you Aziz for that insightful tribute.  A more heartfelt
description of early 90's Detling I could not have given myself.
Detling has had a long tradition of strange, punny, and generally
humorous peculiarities.  Genrally these stem from the unique mix of
people who are Detlingites.  Why, I remember that Arrington fellow...

(old fogies like me tend to break into pointless long-winded stories)
 Back in those days we called him The Lantern cause he'd stay up all
hours of the night role playing with the DMA (Champions was one of his
favorite as I recall).  Of course the DMA (dungeon masters association)
later changed to the MGA (Madison gaming association) as I recall...
where was I.  Anyway, AD&D on his Commodore 64 was all the rage then,
when we weren't printing out fractals on Mr. Gorrilla's Amiga or
watching Rocky and Bullwinkle.  Sometimes we'd go over to Pops for a
late snack (before it became Pop's Cafe).  Hmmm, I wonder if I still
have a one cent meal ticket somewhere.
 Last I heard, Mr. Arrington was still attending graduate school at
CalTech... it seems that his account there is still active, so
apparently there is life after Detling, although probably not as fun.

 As for me, I'm still avoiding.. er.. working on a thesis, so if anyone
wants to know about EM image reconstruction from PET scans...  Really
theses are strange things.  Personally I'm spending a semester figuring
out how to save a few seconds of execution time, go figure.
 I am foolish enough to idle on the FEMTOAST chat line (open to all
Detlingites) sometimes, so stop by and chat some time.  The address is:
 Oh yes, I do try to watch The Tick whenever possible.  I am with you in
spirit if not physically.

Sleep is for the week,
- Dean

Date: Thu, 23 Mar 1995 01:33:42 -0600
Precedence: list
From: (Gregory Richard Oppel)
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: Re: TICK!!! IHOP!! plus a tribute to the days of Yore
Mime-Version: 1.0

I am afraid you included all the nice stuff and left me the dirty job,
Aziz.  A year before Aziz moved onto Detling there was a different Dean
Huff.  It was his soph year and he was begining to come out of that shell
from high school.  The trouble started when Dean's roomie, Opie, would slam
the door real loud and walk around the floor bouncing golf balls.  Opie
eventually started talking about people behind their backs and causing
quite a stir.

The problems were multiplied by the fact that Dean, who is black, felt
intimidated by Opie, who is white, and two other southern floor members,
one from Georgia and one from Texas.  Dean would recite bible verses to the
floor in hopes of winning their aid.  Eventually, things came to a head
when Dean went into the shower and stole Opie's towel.  Opie ran down the
hall naked into the room yelling for help.

The police were called but nothing was done about the incident.

Opie disappeared one day and that plus all of the other ensuing trauma
encouraged Dean to move rooms and live with Mark Tanin, an Army reservist
who could protect Dean.

>From here everything seemed to be fine until it was realized that my room
mate, Salvador who was also in the reserve, disappeared and no one knew
where he was.  We all figured it was a coincidence that Sal had not been
seen since Christmas and that Dean was the last one to see him alive.

Move a year up and again there is a mystery when another reservist, this
time Dean's old roomie Tanin, disappeared at mid-break.

Some of us beleive ther was a reason why shortly thereafter Dean "moved" to
Tennesee under the "so-called" protection of Montgomery Burns and the NRC
at Oak Ridge.  We have sued the City of Madison and the police department
over slow response to Opie's disappearance. Mulder and Scully have been
called to investigate but we fear even thay may not have clearance to get

Date: Thu, 23 Mar 95 14:26:43 -0600
Precedence: bulk
From: (Marcus Steffel)
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: Correction on paintball message.
X-To: detling

        Some of you may have noticed that I said paintball was on Sunday the
8th, well, what it really should say is Sunday the 9th.  That is when I'm 
going to play paintball.  Sorry for the confusion.
        And hey, Greg, it's nice to hear from you.  From those of you who
don't know Dean, Greg's story was totally true.  I've talked to Scully
personally, and if it wasn't for the Debbie Gibson music, Jaideep would still
live on detling and would have been able to keep both Dean and Sal from going
on the lamb (and Flip will lead his flock home).  Sorry to all you newbies.
        Mark "I'm really just a nice guy" Steffel

Date: Thu, 23 Mar 95 15:34 CST
Precedence: bulk
From: Kimberly Stahl 
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: Fugitive Spotted!

        In my capacity as pulitzer-winning photographer for the Weekly
World News I have captured many a heart-stopping sight on film, but
none so fearsome as the scenes I observed last week.  Even the
joy I felt when catching the elusive "Bat Child" unawares could not
compare with the week I spent in the company of the fugitive "Dean."
        My sources had informed me of the fugitive's whereabouts. I
immediately traveled to the bosom our nation's nuclear research...Oak
Ridge Tennessee.  There, I found, our former-Detling comrade has made
a place for himself in the top-secret bosom of Oak Ridge National Lab.
I was unable to discern the nature of his work, never actually having
observed him doing any. In exchange for my telling his story to the
public he allowed me to follow him for a week and take pictures.
        The story will be released in the next edition of the Weekly
World News, available at any newsstand or for $9.95 for a 12 week
subscription...for copyright reasons I cannot divulge any further
information here. I will, however, allow curious Detlingites to view
those pictures not being used in the WWN story.
        email or call for an appointment to view the pictures.

Date: Fri, 24 Mar 1995 10:03:11 -0600
Precedence: bulk
From: (Aziz Poonawalla, Esq.)
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: Mr. Oppel's allegations
Mime-Version: 1.0

I think Kato Kaelin, when called to testify, will shed much light on the
mysterious disappearnces of Opie, DJ Mark "Mixmaster" Tanin, and the other
dark secrets surrounding that most nefarious refugee, Dean "The Fool" Huff,
or Fingers as he is known amongst the mafiosi. Recent evidence from alert
readers at confirming Dean sightings in Tennessee are
controversial, and the offer of photographic evidence will have to be
considered carefully, of course. Dean's guilt is yet to be proven. In this
country, there stands one maxim of justice elegant in its simplicity and
powerful in its scope. Innocent until proven guilty. Perhaps you've heard
that before?

Scully, Tooty, and Muldoon are all assigned to the case ("ooh! ooh!") and I
think justice will prevail.

There is no evidence that Salvador's disappearance is linked to this case.
In fact, may I suggest the following alternate scenario?

Perhaps Debbie Gibson induced an epic rage in Jaideep, thus causing him to
lose the venner of civilized behavior for a brief, passionate moment?

granted, Jaideep had no bruises on his body, but there was a suspicious
swelling on his middle finger, that may have been caused by some mysterious

As for Flip, well. 'nuff said already. I would like to know where the Moose
hat is, though, just out of personal curiosity, and who knows? It may
reveal a link to this case.

Finally, I believe there was one more incident that went umentioned... the
case of the forcible eviction of Dean by Opie merely two weeks into the
semester? I believe that story should be told by another, though....

thank you.
PS Dean, my legal fees are $100 per hour (rather cheap actually) and ten
cases of Coke per week.


              ^           "their debt shows to his embryo
             ` `               no fantastic copulation transforms slowly!
          _ `   ` _               his bitter predator's soul tastes,
        "  `     `  "      Aziz begs for his conclusion
      "               "        Would you pay 12 dollars for his
      "   ` .` `. `   "           organic dandelion?           - johnny mcpoet
        " `` _ _ `` "      ***************************************************
          `       `             Aziz H. Poonawalla
1110 Oakwood Drive                                      821 W. Johnson, #260A
Mount Prospect, IL 60056                                Madison, WI 53706-1798
(708) 593 2059                                          (608) 264 2356

Date: Fri, 24 Mar 1995 15:24:44 -0600
Precedence: bulk
From: (Nemesis)
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: Dean didn't do it!

I was there for all of these incidents, and I have evidence to prove that
Dean had nothing to do with Opie's dissappearance.  The dissappearance was
a scam brought about by the CIA to frame Dean Huff and prevent his future
career as the leader of the rebellion against Elvis Presley when he
proclaims himself God-King of the United States of America and Greater
Earth in 1999.  The CIA acted on the case when they were contacted by a
time-travelling alien from 2135 who came back supposedly in hopes of saving
Earth from a deadly catastrophe whose cause goes way back to 1991.  In
actuality, there plan was to change history so that it would be possible to
conquer Earth and all of its subsidiary planets.

This may all seem quite unbelievable, but I have evidence to prove all of
it.  I have tape recordings of the conversations between the Aliens and the
CIA.  I have confirming articles from the Weekly World News itself about
the contact between these same Aliens and both Bill Clinton and Newt
Gingrich, along with the passages the CIA wouldn't let them print! 
Nostradamus himself predicts the accension of Elvis Presley to the throne
of God-King in a passage usually interpreted as referring to King Louis
XIV, "the Sun King", of France.  Even more evidence can be found in
Revelations to the fact that Elvis Presley is indeed an incarnation of the
Anti-Christ. As he also predicts that the one who will save mankind from
Presley's torture is one Tennesseean named Dean Huff, the descendant and
rightful heir of the Merovingian Line, Arthur of Briton, Ghenghis Khan, and
Abraham Lincoln, as well as the high priest of the Albigensian Heresy - a
secret he has only revealed to three people.  One was Greg Oppel, High
Priest of the Detling Mithraic Cult on Detling, and builder of the great
Temple (whom I am greatly dissappointed in for this recent betrayal ofDean);
another was myself, the creator of the Honorary Detling Membership

Requirements, and Director Detling Den Intelligence Committee (DDIC); and
the third was Opie, Dean's secretary, who was also privy to a number of
secrets involving Dean's wondrous magical powers which can both heal and
kill, but used only for good. 

I saw it with my own eyes, being privy to Dean's wondrous secrets and
forced to keep them from the rest of the world, Opie was unable to follow
this task and took a short and fast trip into insanity and threw Dean's
possessions out of the room in a weak attempt to remove himself from
reality.  Soon after, the CIA took the opportunity to kidnap Opie and place
him in a secret gulag in Alaska reserved for the most unusual and powerful
of political prisoners.  Sources indicate that Opie recently led an
uprising in this Gulag, but this failed due to an accomplices accidental
release of Adolf Hitler from his hermetically and magnetically sealed
chamber - whose evil satanic powers set off an Earthquake in California in

I have photos which show one Matt Edelstein hiding Opie's unconscious body
in the stairs at the end of the hall.  I have videotapes of Edelstein
listening to Dread Zeppelin, the encoded message from Presley sent to the
CIA and KAOS agents in order to spread the secret plan which was to
culminate in 1999. I also have photos of Matt Edelstein's contact with the
CIA and the Aliens outside the Detling Den at about 9:30 in the morning on
November 3rd, 1990 - a time when no one else was in the Den except for me,
and a few slumbering Femtoasters.  I saw the transaction take place outside
and took pictures and recorded the conversation with the DDIC camera and
directional microphone.  It was Edelstein, who I have learned from my
sources in the CIA and the former-KGB was in actuality one George Smith,
a.k.a. the Eagle, a mercenary leader and international spy infamous for
many political events of the past couple decades including the initiation
of the Soviet Coup of 1992.

As for the dissappearances of the others: Jaideep, Salvador and Tanin, they
were also involved in this as part of the CIA.  As my investigations went
further during my years on the DDIC, and I gained more dirt on these three,
they were immediately relocated as Edelstein was in the CIA's ongoing
battle against me.  Due to my protection in proximity to Dean, they could
never reach me directly but instead slowly took out my agents, including:
Joel Prohofsky, who was last seen travelling across the country in an
attempt to escape the CIA; Edward Albrecht and Chris Gorilla, both of whom
I was able to get off Detling before the heat got too high; and Karen Nee,
who has finally been able to resurface in Barnard under the protection of
Kim Stahl, current assistant to Dean's movement.    Some of you may
remember the mass dissappearance involving several of these people in 1992,
the casualties of the DDIC's war with the CIA, that was our greatest year,
when over half of the residents of Detling were on either side.

I am finally coming out with this evidence after two years in hiding, after
the great coup of 1993, in which the CIA finally won a victory over the
DDIC, forcing Dean to escape from Madison entirely, and several others,
including myself and my agents Keith Gillette, Sarah Weiland, and Jen
Hayward, to escape to the distant realms of Oaktree, and leaving the
Directorship of the DDIC vacant and no longer able to protect Detling
except for the gracious help from  the DDIC Movie Subcommittee.  It is
still a great risk for the DDIC, but after much great work, thanks
especially to the DDIC Femtoast Subcommittee, especially Chris Gorilla's
recent work on the East Coast and Keith Gillette's chat-line as a front for
the DDIC's electronic infiltration of the Masonic Society's computers, we
are able to come out of secrecy.

"Now in the market for a new IBM Compatible Computer"
17 N. Bassett, Apt. 2, Madison, WI 53703, 256-3742
-------------- copyright 1995 Nemesis Produktions--------------

The secret is to bang the rocks together, guys!

Date: Mon, 27 Mar 1995 16:36:27 -0600
Precedence: bulk
From: (karen l nee)
To: Current and Former Detling Members 
Subject: My Life in Exile

As Nemesis told you last week in this continuing saga regarding the
fugitive Dean, I had to spend a year in exile for my unwillingness to
cooperate with authorities.  It is amazing all of the repercussions this
one event has had on the lives of so many Detlingites.  Six degrees of
separation isn't so far off, especially when Johnny Chang is involved.

I was sent to the prison known as Kronshage, and my cell was in Mack House.
 My sanity was tested by my roommate, Joslyn, who was also banished from
Detling, but for different reasons than mine.  (Her offenses were much
worse, of course, and national security prevents me from talking about
her.)  Luckily, I was able to continue studying while in exile, so this
kept me from becoming bored out of my skull.  Because Mack House is
soooooooo far away from Detling, I lost much contact with those who still
lived on there, and those who had also been banished from the floor, but
sent to other places.  I was able to keep contact with the outside world
because of two people - Johnny Chang, who was sentenced to one year of
House Fellowing at Tripp-Adams Hall, and Erik Scott, who came to visit and
participated in a friendly game of tennis with me every now and then.  I
owe them my life.

This year, I have been upgraded to probation because of good behavior and
much pleading, and am living in Barnard in a room all my own.  Thank God,
for I really think that living with someone in a room so small is meant to
make people go crazy.  I have been able to reestablish contact with those
friends that I thought I may never see again, and it is like I have been
given a second chance.  I think I am going to cry now.


Added to Detnet October 31th, 1996